This blog post is a coaching case study involving a senior marketing executive in the medical technology industry, a client of mine about ten years ago. He agreed to my using this case, provided that his name, title and company remined confidential. Let’s call him Wayne.

A mid-level manager in his late 30s, Wayne was referred for coaching by senior management and the human resources department at his firm after a 360° assessment revealed that, basically, peers and subordinates didn’t much like working with him. Wayne’s reaction to this feedback, which came as news to him, provides some insights that may be of value to coaches and prospective clients alike.

Wayne’s initial reaction to his 360° was to consider quitting his job to accept an offer—already on the table—from a leading competitor. It’s a reaction that puts a coach, who’s being paid by the client’s employer, in a real pickle. But after some serious soul-searching, to address the issues raised by his 360°, Wayne said he wanted to use his coaching sessions to embark on a journey that he called “character building.” In coaching parlance, we call it vertical development, which involves efforts to change or grow in terms of who you are and how you operate, that is, your way of being. In contrast, focusing on what you accomplish and the ways you go about it, your ways of doing, constitute horizontal development. Effective coaches sit up and take notice when a client ventures into vertical development territory, since it’s the sine qua non of transformational coaching.

On Cultivating Character Traits and Virtues

Essentially, Wayne said that he wanted to develop what classical Greek philosophy called virtues and the Old Testament called “ways of an upright man.” All such efforts form a special tributary of the vertical development river called moral development, also known as rectitude, which traditionally has been the province of religion, spirituality and the ethics branch of philosophy.

Wayne decided to begin by reading classic philosophical and religious texts on ethics and deduced from them that there was no way to become a more righteous or virtuous person in general. He also observed from his studies that, throughout history, religiosity and virtue were very different things. It seemed to him that the only way to build moral fiber was by taking it one virtue at a time. But where to start—especially when the motivating force was something so generic as not being liked?

During our coaching sessions, Wayne strove to objectively assess his morality, featuring the good, the bad and the ugly. This is not the sort of thing coaching clients typically do, and some readers might wonder if it is even appropriate material for coaching. I confess that I wondered, too. But it is the client, not the coach, who ultimately determines the direction their coaching takes. And given that this was not a matter involving emotional or psychological distress (subjects for therapy rather than coaching), I elected to listen raptly and support Wayne in crafting his change process.

With his moral inventory in hand, Wayne pondered next steps for several coaching sessions. Should he choose a strength to build on, as positive psychology and appreciative inquiry adherents recommend? Or should he find a glaring weakness, his moral Achilles Heel, and labor to mend it? Though I have predilections about such matters, as a coach, it’s not my place to impose these on clients. Designating the approach that would be most effective for him was a matter for Wayne to decide. A strategic thinker and creative problem solver by nature, Wayne chose the latter strategy—to pinpoint his most glaring vice and strive to ameliorate it by cultivating its opposite—a virtue.

Hard Lessons in Virtue and Vice

Among Wayne’s vices, he felt that arrogance loomed large. He wasn’t 100% sure it was his worst vice, but it was a troublesome one that he could plainly see, one that others had called him on over the years as well. He also intuited that it might be the vice that contributed most to his unlikability in the workplace.

In the world of vices, arrogance is a biggie. It’s part of the cardinal vice called vainglory, a deadly vice that comprises pride, arrogance, narcissism and vanity all rolled into one. In executive suites and government offices across America, it’s one of the commonest vices going. Arrogance can kill just about anything in relationships and organizations. Creativity. Trust. Honesty, Safety. Communication. Respect. Humanity. Compassion. Generosity. Love. The Titanic. You name it. Even so, I knew from personal experience that no one should take on arrogance unless they’re prepared for a no-holds-barred fight. Ego never goes quietly.

Wayne determined that the best way to combat the vice of vainglory (as prescribed by those sage Greeks), was to cultivate its opposite: the virtue of humility. For several weeks he considered how he could develop humility, how he could actualize and live it, rather than merely hold it as an ideal or pay lip service to it. Now this is the rub when it comes to success in vertical development, and most especially in moral development. If and how someone can fundamentally change their moral “who” is the crux of this post.

How to Conceive a Living Virtue—and Survive

Let’s suppose you too want to develop a virtue, whatever it may be. How do you turn it from an abstraction into a way of being, a stance in the world you perpetually embody? Here’s a coaching hint: the answer to this question can only come from you. I can tell you what Wayne did, however, and what he learned in the process.

He first determined that the challenge in cultivating humility was that it was impossible to even begin without a humble attitude, i.e., a degree of freedom from pride, arrogance, grandiosity, contempt, condemnation, judgment, going one-up and rejection of others. He concluded that had to give up thinking and acting as if he were better than others, including being humbler than them. In Wayne’s case, he also learned that cultivation of humility benefits by the realization that it’s vital to spiritual growth, and he was a person of Jewish faith.

To admit the extent of his stunted spiritual growth, and the reasons for it, took a degree of self-examination and self-honesty I’ve rarely witnessed. Wayne certainly realized that humility would be easier to write and talk about than to actualize. Two verses from Solomon spurred him on:

“And before honor is humility.”

Proverbs 15:33

“A wicked man puts on a bold face, but an upright man establishes his ways.”

Proverbs 21:29

Action Planning for Sustainable Vertical Growth

What Wayne liked about “establishes his ways” was that it prescribed that virtue must be reflected in deeds, manifest in works. This was the catalyst for his personal change plan. He decided to break humility into component parts, actionable practices he could undertake daily. After considerable reflection and dialog, he narrowed it down to twelve. That way he could dedicate himself to each humility practice for a month. I wasn’t sure whether this better reflected excellence in strategic change planning or obsessivity, but that’s not for the coach to decide. Here were Wayne’s big 12 humility practices, once we whittled them down:

1. Atonement—practicing contrition and restitution.
2. Non-intoxication—maintaining wholesome consumption in body and mind.
3. Caring—treating all objects and resources as rare and valuable.
4. Discipline—submitting to schedule, regimen and training.
5. Kindness—attending to the wellbeing of all people and living things.
6. Uprightness—cultivating non-lying, non-stealing, respect for all and keeping no secrets.
7. Not-knowing—letting go of beliefs, opinions, knowing-it-all and being right.
8. Self-control—governing boundaries, impulses, communication and bearing.
9. Frugality—conserving resources, food, tools and time.
10. Steadfastness—staying the course, mastering basics, progressing steadily, finishing strong.
11. Gratitude—being thankful for all one receives each day, none of it owed.
12. Forgiveness—extending mercy and compassion to people past and present.

I couldn’t possibly catalog in this space the specific events and practices Wayne conceived to enact each facet of humility. But he applied himself daily, and the more he practiced atonement, for example, the more he discovered how to deepen its practice.

Potholes and Pitfalls in Vertical Development

Those familiar with strategy making, personal development plans, strategic learning contracts, goal setting and the like might spot some potential yellow flags here. Many of these humility practices lend themselves to activity rather than achievement goals and rely on self-reporting. Both issues can be resolved, but not without an evidence-based orientation and feedback from trusted others who knew Wayne well and interacted with him a lot.

One of the poignant insights Wayne gained along the way was that each aspect of humility was a virtue itself. Working on any aspect of moral development entrains others, as virtues are intertwined. Wayne’s vertical change efforts went on for a year. During this time span, we met twice a month, and I always found his steadfast commitment to humility-in-action inspiring.

Perhaps you’re dying to know how he fared after so much labor within and without. Did he go from being a snob to a Saint Francis? Well . . . according to Wayne, on a scale of 1 to 10—1 being exceedingly arrogant and 10 being super humble—he perhaps went from 3 to 4.25. Vertical development is tough, moral development, tortuous.

From my vantage point, however, when it comes to moral development, the Likert scale works exponentially. I saw, heard and felt a sea change in the way Wayne addressed, listened to and spoke of peers and subordinates on his team. Wayne further discovered that the humbler he became, i.e., the less he operated from an ego stance, the smoother his relationships went and the less strife and struggle he experienced in life in general. I probably don’t have to tell you that his subsequent 360° came back with remarkably different results regarding his interpersonal skills and perceived effectiveness. These results led him to brand humility “the ultimate cross-platform killer app,” thus the title of this post.

Is There a Virtue Calling to You?

I relate Wayne’s story because everyone I coach has some aspect of their character that they know needs work. Maybe it’s procrastination. Anger is another common one. Perhaps it’s not listening. Or stretching the truth. Lacking focus. Feeling insecure. Rushing all the time. Overcommitting and overextending. Everyone has something.

In the final analysis, vertical development is the impetus for human growth, change and maturation. But how common is it for someone to be hard at work on this dimension of being? Case in point—how many people do you know who are conscientiously striving to grow morally? It appears to me that it’s more common to make an unhealthy peace with moral and ethical foibles, to excuse or justify them, blame them on others or even pretend they don’t exist. It appears to me that a relative minority conclude, “I can’t stand this anymore. I need to change—for the sake of others and to be a better person.”

Coaching is about the subsequent leaps from such a conclusion. From “I need to” (contemplation) to “I will!” (planning) to “I am” (action). This post is dedicated to those vertical leapers, whom I’m sometimes blessed to coach. To you I commend Wayne’s humble tale of vertical development.